I have lost my husband to Steve Jobs.  My husband Aviv is an IT professional, which, as far as I can gather, means that he writes some software code, and sometimes opens up computers and messes with their innards, and spends a lot of time on the phone with colleagues and clients using acronyms I don’t understand.  (I can always tell when he has finished a sentence though: they all end in “man.”) 

Steve first entered our lives in late 2007 when Aviv’s boss presented everyone with iPod Touches.  This was entirely engrossing to Aviv, what with the configuring and the downloading and the changing of earphones.  The iPod Touch was followed by an iPhone 3G, which of course required hours and hours of attention itself.  This year we have a double whammy: the iPhone 4 and the iPad all at once.  I speak to Aviv now and he doesn’t even hear me.  It’s not just that he doesn’t listen; he literally doesn’t hear. 

I blame Aviv’s boss.  Yes, it is Steve Jobs who claimed him, but his boss who introduced the two.  Aviv is addicted to the iToys, but his boss is his pusher. 

The iPad sits on our living room coffee table in front of the TV, so that while I watch a movie, Aviv can do whatever it is that people use the iPad for. (I’m still not entirely sure what the purpose of this new doohickey is – it’s a laptop with no keyboard?  What’s the point?  Great, it’s small – so is my netbook which fits in my purse, keyboard and all.)  The new iPhone hasn’t left his hands since he took it out of the box, and I exaggerate only slightly here.  First we had the cataloging of its faults: it’s not as rounded as the 3G and therefore not as comfortable in his hand, plus what if it doesn’t fit in the iPhone holder he wears when he bikes?  Why are there so few wallpaper choices?  Why did the phone receive only one of two calls he placed to it?  Where is the visual voicemail?  Oh – there it is, never mind.  (The fault was with my home office, which seems to be lined with kryptonite and gets no cell reception ever.)  Then we had the celebration of its advantages: you can put the icons in folders!  It is so fast!  Etc.  I think he’s running out of ways to play with it, because after tapping away on it for a bit, he just reported to me the balance in his bank account.  He has already set it up to beep when he gets an email from work. 

It could be worse.  I’m not a golf widow or a sports widow, so he doesn’t leave the house or make lots of noise when he plays with the toys.  But it is a little annoying that wherever we go, his pocket keeps beeping.  I blame his boss for that too.

5 thoughts on “iWidow

  1. Mr. Moscato says:

    Piper, this brings up the age-old question: does technical innovation improve our lives, or, in fact, just over-complicates them? With a follow-up question: do people ever grow up, or do they just demand more complicated, expensive toys?

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Piper Hoffman, Piper Hoffman. Piper Hoffman said: iWidow: http://wp.me/pWz7Y-1n […]

  3. Matthew Ivaliotes says:

    In my professional opinion (and yes, I share your husband’s profession), the iPad is the (current) ultimate mobile media consumption device. No, I am not an Apple disciple. I’m more of a linux head who owns one Mac and three PCs, only one of which runs Windows. That said, an iPad allows one to read magazines or websites or books, view pictures, watch video, and so on. Like you, I have a netbook, and I consider it to be far superior for generating content – even something as simple as an email. The iPad just isn’t good as a content generator.

    It sure does seem like a great widowmaker, though. I thought about getting one, but I have enough digital devices in my life as it is.

  4. Ben says:

    If you want to get Aviv talking again, just call his iPhone. Maybe you can talk about his iPad…

  5. Pete K says:

    uClever Piper! Love the blog.

Comments are closed.